Getting Pregnant Again After Infertility

Before I became a mother for the first time I wanted to have my children quite close together in age. I had it in my head that when my firstborn was around two we would have another baby. Fast-forward to motherhood and an immense lack of sleep, plus everything not coming quite as naturally to me as I had thought it would, and another baby when Ava was two was definitely not happening.

I found motherhood a lot harder than I had thought I would and for a long time the thought of going through every single difficult bit with another child, at the same time as having a lovely lively little girl was rather terrifying. It still is to be honest. But now that Ava is at nursery for fifteen hours a week, and by the time any baby came along she will be almost starting school, the idea of having another baby isn’t so horrifying. In fact it’s very exciting and lovely (but still terrifying too).

We decided a few months ago that after we got married in July and then went on our honeymoon in August/September that we would start trying again (I couldn’t not eat all that chorizo and drink all that Rioja in Spain!). And so we are back here again. It took us four years of trying, two rounds of successful IVF and a miscarriage to get our daughter (you can read more about that here if you’d like).

It seems as though whatever month you are at in your trying to conceive journey that as soon as you are actively ‘trying’, finding out you are not pregnant is a blow, whether that be the first or the fiftieth month. Of course it gets harder as time goes by, but the disappointment even in that first month is real. Even though I knew it was ridiculously unlikely, discovering I wasn’t pregnant this month took me right back to last time, slap bang in the middle of ‘I’m still not pregnant and my heart is aching’. It seriously felt like I had skipped back five years and was right there in the months upon months of disappointment and upset.

I know it’s silly, and I’m fine. I knew I wouldn’t be pregnant this month, but it was just a reminder of how I used to feel, and probably of how I’m going to feel over the next few months. In all likelihood I won’t get pregnant naturally, and although it would be absolutely incredible to find out that we had conceived, I know I can go through IVF again, I have that, our beautiful daughter was conceived through IVF and if all of my children are made that way too then that is ok by me. I have frozen embryos this time so I don’t have to go through quite as much at least, but I don’t how much the chances of success are reduced using frozen embryos yet. Also the money aspect scares me. We can’t afford to do it endless times.

I just feel like I’m in limbo a bit at the moment; waiting for a bit before we contact our clinic about doing IVF again. Also, the pressure is on slightly as Ava starts school next September and it’s probably not ideal to be due to give birth or have a newborn at that emotional time. We’ll see.

It’s nice this time to be able to talk about it, with friends, family, and you reading this (thank you). We kept it a secret from everyone that we were trying last time, and for four long years that was hard. Paul didn’t want everyone to know last time and I completely understood and was mostly ok with it. This time it feels more natural to talk about it, and it’s nice to have that freedom to chat about it when I need to.

I’m feeling positive about it all, if a little melancholy. It’s exciting and unpredictable, and I want to try and keep it that way; relaxed, positive, a ‘we’ll see what happens’ kind of way. No rush.


Linking up with Share With Me.


  1. October 4, 2015 / 4:10 pm

    Try not to put so much pressure on yourself, relax, it will happen in time. I wish you the best xx

  2. October 4, 2015 / 6:11 pm

    Really interesting post. I wish you all the best for the future. A lot of my family have fertility problems – my mum had four miscarriages trying to get me and I have all the sympathy for those who have been in your situation. I really hope it works out for you, best of luck :) xx
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  3. October 4, 2015 / 9:40 pm

    Oh huni, big hugs. We tried for a long time to have Baby, unexplained infertility, then the month before our 1st IVF appointment we got pregnant. Try not to drive yourself crazy I genuinely believe I fell pregnant because I relaxed knowing that the following month we would be getting professional help xx
    You Baby Me Mummy recently posted..The Best of SeptemberMy Profile

  4. Emma T
    October 4, 2015 / 11:04 pm

    Good luck with when you start trying. Must be very hard when you want something so much. We were quite relaxed about it, even though it took nearly a year, so we weren’t waiting desperately each month, like so many of my friends said they did
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  5. October 5, 2015 / 11:14 am

    It is hard not to get your hopes up around the time your period is due each month. I too wasn’t ready for another baby straight away but when my daughter was at nursery I really wanted it to happen. I had many failed pregnancy tests and a miscarriage but last week I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I hope it happens for you soon. xx
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  6. October 5, 2015 / 11:34 am

    Oh it’s such a trying time you’re going through and can relate to the 2 miscarriages part of it. I wouldn’t worry about having a baby around the time your daughter goes to school, I had my daughter in the September that my son started big school and all was fine. It probably gave him something to talk about at the time!

  7. October 7, 2015 / 5:48 pm

    I wish you the best of luck when you start trying and praying that you will have an easier time this time around. I have many friends who have gone through IVF and have shared their thoughts and experiences with me. With that being said, please know that you are not alone with your emotions. Best wishes and stay strong! Ava is adorable and it appears that you are doing a fabulous job =) #sharewithme

  8. October 7, 2015 / 6:38 pm

    Hi! I could have written this post myself five months back. I fell pregnant straight away with my first, had a rough time and when I finally decided on number two it took me three miscarriages (two via IVF), an ectopic pregnacy and being told there would be no number two, to finally get pregnant again. I know the heartbreak you´re going through. Check out my blog if you can, and you may relate to some of my posts and see how every cloud has a silver lining. #sharewithme

  9. October 14, 2015 / 2:47 pm

    It must be hard to bring back all those old feelings again and try again after infertility. I know my best friend is doing the same after IVF baby for second baby so it’s emotional all over again. Bless you and her. You are stronger than you think and are great to share your experience for others going through the same. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. I appreciate the linky loyalty and always look forward to seeing you again at SWM. #sharewithme
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