As a mother I never feel like I am as good as I should be. I’ve wanted a baby for a long time and I always thought motherhood would come naturally to me. But I constantly compare myself to others, and never feel good enough. I even compare myself to older family members and think they must not have had the same struggles as me and were better Mothers. I think it’s because no-one really talks about how hard it is or was for them (and perhaps don’t remember how hard it actually was).
I wonder how everybody else does it… Seriously, WHEN do you all find the time to paint your nails and do your hair so prettily??? A messy bun is my best friend. And no, I don’t mean like a stylish messy bun, I mean like a bits-sticking-out-all-over-the-place, could-do-with-a-wash-or-at-least-a-brush messy bun. I’m jealous. I want to curl my hair and at least have time to cut my nails if not paint them.
I’ve been a mum for 7 months now and I still feel like I’m not very good at it yet. Of course everybody doesn’t share the bad bits of their lives all the time on the internet and their daily struggle to get their bubs to nap. But why don’t women talk about how difficult being a mum can be and how tough it was for them? I seem to find out little snippets every so often by chance but not usually when I’m desperate for someone to say “oh yes, I too struggled to find the time to feed/breastfeed/get to sleep/wash/change/play with the baby and wash/dress/feed myself and do housework and manage to actually go anywhere in between all of that. Oh and occasionally find time to pee”.
Sleep (or lack of it) is a massive part of it. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture afterall. The days after I’ve had a decent amount of sleep (few), seem SO much easier, everything seems to go more smoothly and I feel like ‘yep, I CAN do this parenting malarkey, it’s pretty easy actually’. But the days after no sleep are so often really hard. Everything, even the things I do all day everyday (changing nappies: please just bend your legs for me little love, no don’t roll over again, oh you peed all over your clean clothes again…sigh) are a challenge and stressful.
Today is one of those days. Can you tell?
Share your struggles in the comments below so we can all feel
rubbish better together!