Recently, whilst I was at my friend’s house, I got my first taste of Tinder and what it’s like to judge someone purely based on their looks in one photo.
No, I’m not after a new husband – but my friend is on the dating site and let me do a bit of left and right swiping for her. It was strangely exhilarating and fun particularly after a couple of bottles of wine, to browse a load of men and make a decision on whether they were good enough/good looking enough/had an amazing beard/looked like a twat – for her.
And then it made me a bit sad.
I know the dating world is generally a fickle one, just like the real world often can be. And we can’t help ourselves by judging people on what they look like when we see them. And I can understand the draw of the Tinder app – it takes the pressure of finding someone off a bit, you can have fun, judge a few people based on their photo, and then forget about them unless they right swipe you too and you have a match.
But it’s kind of sad to think that someone could have taken a bad picture, that someone could be a bit unphotogenic, or looks a bit arrogant in their picture and you swipe them away out of your life forever, when they could have had the most amazing personality, make you laugh every day, and be amazing in bed. And the pair of you never even got the chance.
Even worse really, that you can pass your phone to a friend, and she can judge people for you. Maybe it could be a good thing – you could get a match with someone you never would have right swiped for yourself, fall madly in love, and forever be grateful to your friend for finding you the one. (This clearly won’t happen by the way, I only got one match for her – clearly I was thinking of my own tastes and passing on all the men that didn’t have awesome beards – I have no idea where my new beard obsession came from FYI, but, yeah).
I know it’s really all just a bit of fun, and possibly a random chance of finding the perfect partner or perhaps a temporary fuck buddy who brightens your single days, but it’s weird isn’t it? I judged around a hundred men the other night, purely based on what they look like in a photo/their beard-game strength.
Have we really come to this? Can we not just get to know each other first after we’ve had a quick glance and decide someone looks alright, without it being just about their looks in one photo?
It was bloody good fun though.