The older A gets and the more her language skills improve, the more complex and hilarious things she comes out with. So many things she says make me wonder where on earth she gets them from – some of them are so bizarre!
Here are some of the funny and weird things Ava has said recently…
“Oh I know this song! It’s when you fall in love with someone who isn’t nice to you.”
“Because no-one wants to see my big fat stinky bottom”. I think this was about closing the bathroom door whilst she went to the loo!
Me: “What are you going to do when I do exercise Ava?”
A: “I’m going to do dogs cos I’m a yoga dog”.
I bought a little cockerel ornament from Portugal as a memento, and Ava was playing with it one day when Daddy wasn’t watching her properly, ;) and she broke it. So I was a bit annoyed and sad. I eventually threw it away and I said to Ava that I could glue it back together, but there were too many broken bits. Ava came and put her arms around me and said “I know you love that but you have to throw it away”, it was so sweet and caring.
The battery went on the tablet:
A: “Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh” (all the woe)
Me: “What’s wrong? Oh has the battery gone?”
A: “Yes and I don’t want to play with anything”
Me: “Well you can’t watch something all day”
A: “I can because I’m a grown up, I can do whatever I want”
“I love you sooooo much, even though you’re the stinkiest”.
“I can make the bad guys good for a weekend” singing Taylor Swift.
“I love you soooooo much, all the way up to your face”
She crawled over to me in bed, gritted her teeth and said “I’m gonna cut you up”, whilst chopping into my head with her hand. How sweet she is.
I had a lemon on the side – Ava made a really funny noise…
Me: “What’s wrong?”
A: “Your lemon’s making me want lemon, but I don’t want to let myself have lemon.”
I have a friend called Dean, and Emma is my sister, so I have no idea where this came from! (Em – have you got something to tell me?!)
“‘Emma what ya doing with Dean, what ya doing with Dean?’
‘Uhm, just poking him'”.
“I just need a poo ok, but can you just let me have a poo in peace”. She may or may not have got this from me. I wonder at what point I will be allowed to go to the loo without any children or cats following me. And I also wonder at what point I turned into my mum.
Me: “I need to do some exercise today”
Me: “Because I haven’t done any for aaaaages”
A: “Yes and it makes you strong and healfyyyyy”
Me: “That’s right”
A: “And you’re not as strong as me and daddy *giggles*”.
Ava was going to bed, and the night before I had been trying to get her to eat her carrots, which she used to love, so I was telling her they would help her see in the dark, and we also talked about the clocks going forward:
A: “It’s lighter tonight Daddy, why is it lighter?”
P: “Because the clocks have gone forward, so it gets dark later now”
A: “No, it’s because I ate all my carrots!”.
Me: “Do you want to go to the toilet Ava?”
A: “Do I want to?” *pulls smart alec face*
Me: “What I meant was – can you go to the toilet please?”
A: “I don’t want to, but thanks!”
She is too bloody intelligent for her own good – or maybe mine!
“I was watching Netflix and you started screaming like the house was on fire”. (wtf?!)
We got out of the taxi home from London:
“You know I don’t want to be here mummy, I want to stay in London”.
Have your kids said anything funny recently? I’d love to hear them!