We’ve Got Time

22nd August 2013

20130822-161137.jpg

We’ve got time to get it right.
I feel like I’m always in a rush to get everything I want and to make everything perfect right now.

I’ve got time to become a better mother. I’ve got time to grow into this role I love so much but struggle with more than I thought I would.

We’ve got time to find the perfect house for us and make it beautiful.

We’ve got time to travel the world and share everything it has to offer with Ava.

We’ve got time to get married, we don’t have to do it right now when it isn’t the right time for us.

I’ve got time to get in the best shape of my life.

It doesn’t have to be done. Right. This. Second. I want everything now. I’m like a child. I think it’s to do with my lack of self-confidence that has hounded me since becoming a mother. I want to be happier with myself and everything in my life and I want it now while I’m still reasonably young. I think I’m scared of getting older and wrinklier and uglier. Even though I don’t want to be scared as I don’t think it’s a bad thing; getting older is a privilege. But I think in my silly little head I’m not yet confident in the way I look and my silly little brain is telling me, it can only go down from here. Shush brain. Shush.

I do want to go travelling soon though. There is a bit of a time limit on that because of when A starts school. I would go travelling tomorrow if I could. As long as I could make a few lists first of course.

4 responses to “We’ve Got Time”

  1. I feel you! I always want everything perfect & right away but you can really only have one or the other. Patience is hard!

    • That’s so true Elissa! I hadn’t really thought about it like that 🙂 I thought I’d become more patient after becoming a mother, but I seem to be going the other way!! It’s probably tiredness!

  2. HeronSister says:

    Yes, you have time. I turned 52 yesterday and I can honestly say that my 40th birthday was one of the most liberating times of my life — till I turned 50, which was even more liberating.
    Thank you for telling the truth about how confidence can plummet when one becomes a mother. I wonder if it’s because the stakes are so much higher in mothering than in any other life activity, i.e., the stakes are the well-being of another person who is totally dependent on you. And sometimes I think maybe I should lighten up about the whole mothering thing. Children have survived benign neglect for centuries!

    • Yes! The stakes are so high, plus most of our (very little) energy goes on our children rather than ourselves. It’s great to hear how liberating your birthday’s have been for you, I really hope I can feel the same way eventually. 🙂 Thanks so much for commenting.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS




All rights reserved. Please do not take images or content from this site without written permission.