Before I became a mother, I always had it in my head that I would have my second child around the time my first baby was two. I really wanted to have a smallish gap between my children so that they would be close, and a couple of years seemed like a good enough gap – we’d be through the baby stage, and my child would be walking and could perhaps help with the new baby a little bit.
However, my daughter was a terrible sleeper (or maybe just a normal baby) and didn’t sleep through the night for a REALLY long time – we’re talking her being over 18 months old when she slept through for the first time. Such extreme tiredness for so long was horrendous, and there was no way on earth I felt ready for another baby and to potentially (but likely I reckon) have sleepless nights again for so long, so soon.
At times it has hit me that my children will have a much bigger age gap than I had ever planned or wanted, and at times that has concerned me. But that’s just life isn’t it – things don’t always work out the way you had planned, and a lot of the time that can be a good thing. I haven’t been ready for a child before now, and I’m still pretty terrified how I’ll cope to be honest, but I’ll hopefully be okay! And perhaps my next baby will be a sleeper 😉
So all this means that my kids will have at least five years between them now, which is not what I had ever expected to be honest, but I think I’m starting to be okay with it now (not that I have a choice!). There are positives and negatives to every age gap I’m sure, and this is what has happened for our family.
Do you or did you want a particular age gap between your kids? Is there any particular reason if so? Or do you wish you’d had a different age gap between your children? I’d love to know!
We have a 4 year gap between Ruby and the twins. It took us this long to save up for the IVF, we got double the babies and didn’t expect to have any more, donated our eggs and by some miracle we ended up pregnant with our 4th before the twins first birthday. The bigger age gap was by far the easiest for me, during pregnancy and afterwards. And you get to spend so much more time with the new arrival! I’m all for bigger age gaps! <3 xx
Bigger age gaps can be awesome – my brother and I are 8 years apart (I’m the eldest) and we’ve always been close. Growing up, the gap felt bigger but now we’re the very best of friends. My 2 boys are 6 years apart (this wasn’t particularly planned either, but life just happens!) and it’s wonderful. My eldest is so protective and caring to his little brother and my 2 year old WORSHIPS his older brother and tries to be just like him. I’m sure they’ll have days when they annoy each other and phases where they have little to do with each other, but I think they’ll always be close. xx
I’m seven years apart from my brother and it has worked out great. We’re still very close and he held on to the hem of my skirts till he knew better. He was my shadow, until I went to high school.
This is one of my biggest concerns as my kids are quite a few ages apart. Thacks for the great support!