At the moment I’ve been horribly insecure and I’m not entirely sure why. It’s not like I’m the most confident person usually – far from it, but I’m just doubting myself a lot at the moment, as well as people’s feelings for me.
You know sometimes when you feel like something has changed in a relationship and people don’t like or love you as much as they did? Or is that just me? I think usually it’s actually me that has changed – not in any big way, but just that I’m feeling more tired and crappy, and a lot less confident than usual and so I question everything that I wouldn’t usually. It’s horrible though. I think it’s really hard to see how things really are when you feel like that, and you just have to have trust.
I just keep thinking people don’t like me as much as they did, or as I thought, and I wish I didn’t care because if people don’t like me as much then that’s their problem.
I think part of it is that I am waiting for some results for a scan that I had and I’m feeling pretty scared about what the results will say. It’s making me feel quite low and I’m struggling to sleep because I have so much on my mind, which of course makes me feel more rubbish about myself.
I am aware that this sounds like a very self-pitying post, and it really isn’t intended to be – I just find it so frustrating when extreme tiredness makes me feel so pathetic! I really want to just not give a fuck, and feel good about myself regardless, but unfortunately I’m a lameass who cares too much about what people think.
Do you ever feel like this – doubting how people feel about you? What do you do to make yourself feel better?