5 Reasons Why I’m Ok With the Age Gap My Kids Will Have

Before I became a mother, I always had it in my head that I would have my second child around the time my first baby was two. I really wanted to have a smallish gap between my children so that they would be close, and a couple of years seemed like a good enough gap – we’d be through the baby stage, and my child would be walking and could perhaps help with the new baby a little bit.

Why I'm Ok With the Age Gap My Kids Will Have

However, my daughter was a terrible sleeper (or maybe just a normal baby) and didn’t sleep through the night for a REALLY long time – we’re talking her being over 18 months old when she slept through for the first time. Such extreme tiredness for so long was horrendous, and there was no way on earth I felt ready for another baby and to potentially (but likely I reckon) have sleepless nights again for so long, so soon.

At times it has hit me that my children will have a much bigger age gap than I had ever planned or wanted, and at times that has concerned me. But that’s just life isn’t it – things don’t always work out the way you had planned, and a lot of the time that can be a good thing. I haven’t been ready for a child before now, and I’m still pretty terrified how I’ll cope to be honest, but I’ll hopefully be okay! And perhaps my next baby will be a sleeper ;)

So all this means that my kids will have at least five years between them now, which is not what I had ever expected to be honest, but I think I’m starting to be okay with it now (not that I have a choice!). There are positives and negatives to every age gap I’m sure, and this is what has happened for our family.

Here are 5 Reasons Why I’m Ok With the Age Gap My Kids Will Have:

  1. I’ll get a bit of help – Ava loves to help me with things now, and especially when that involves her little cousin or a friends’ baby. Having someone there some of the time who will help with the little things like passing me a nappy or watching him or her whilst I nip to the loo will be great, and take a little bit of pressure off. She’s old enough to do that now, without me worrying that she’s picking the baby up by it’s legs or feeding them chocolate at a week old.
  2. It will help teach my daughter responsibility without any pressure – I’ll always be nearby if A is with her brother or sister, but giving her a little bit of responsibility, such as helping to get the babies food ready or actually feeding her will help to teach her how to be more responsible in a safe environment (ie with me always there!). It will also help teach her how to compromise. With it just being her for so long she can be a bit stubborn and demanding – but having someone else there who needs me should help with that.
  3. They can still be close – just because they are different ages and may have different interests doesn’t mean that they can’t be close. Some siblings are really close in age and don’t get along well. I think it’s more about their personalities rather than their ages to a point, especially when they are both past the teenager stage and more grown-up.
  4. I’ll have plenty of time with them separately whilst they are young. Ava is four-and-a-half now, so she’s had a long time for it to just be her and for her to get all of the attention. Now that A is at school any more babies that come along will also have plenty of time with just me whilst she is there. That also means that I don’t have to struggle with looking after a newborn as well as a toddler all the time from the start as I would do if we’d had a second child sooner. (Although school runs with a newborn will be a big challenge for me I’m sure!)
  5. There’s absolutely nothing I can do about it now! I haven’t had another baby yet and it’s just worked out that way – I can’t change that and so I’m fine with it. Sometimes I think things like this happen for a reason, just like it taking four years and IVF to have Ava – she was meant to be ours. Whenever her brother or sister come along, that will be perfect too.

Do you or did you want a particular age gap between your kids? Is there any particular reason if so? Or do you wish you’d had a different age gap between your children? I’d love to know!


  1. September 19, 2016 / 8:07 pm

    We have a 4 year gap between Ruby and the twins. It took us this long to save up for the IVF, we got double the babies and didn’t expect to have any more, donated our eggs and by some miracle we ended up pregnant with our 4th before the twins first birthday. The bigger age gap was by far the easiest for me, during pregnancy and afterwards. And you get to spend so much more time with the new arrival! I’m all for bigger age gaps! <3 xx

  2. September 20, 2016 / 1:14 pm

    Bigger age gaps can be awesome – my brother and I are 8 years apart (I’m the eldest) and we’ve always been close. Growing up, the gap felt bigger but now we’re the very best of friends. My 2 boys are 6 years apart (this wasn’t particularly planned either, but life just happens!) and it’s wonderful. My eldest is so protective and caring to his little brother and my 2 year old WORSHIPS his older brother and tries to be just like him. I’m sure they’ll have days when they annoy each other and phases where they have little to do with each other, but I think they’ll always be close. xx

  3. September 20, 2016 / 2:20 pm

    I’m seven years apart from my brother and it has worked out great. We’re still very close and he held on to the hem of my skirts till he knew better. He was my shadow, until I went to high school.

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