I Loved You From the Very Start: A Parody

I loved you from the very start,

Even when you did a shart,

Our life together has just begun,

You have a REALLY stinky bum.

As mother with child, each day I grew,

And I’d always need the bloody loo,

I’d daydream of the things we’d share,

Like late-night screaming and you pulling my hair.

Like temper tantrums and constant whinges,

And trapping your finger in the hinges.

I thought of things you’d want to know,

Like how on earth do babies grow.

I thought of lessons I’d need to share,

Will you please stop pulling my fucking hair?

When I first saw your precious face,

I was rather high on the drugs they gave.

I thanked the angels from above,

And promised the nurses unending love.

Each night I lay you down to sleep,

And then I have a little weep,

It’s ok, it’s going to be fine;

Hallelujah, it’s time for wine.

I linger at your bedroom door,

Avoiding the boards that will creak the floor.

Through misty eyes, I dim the light,

At last it’s time to say goodnight.

I loved you from the very start,

You stole my breath, tore me apart.

As mother and child it has been fun,

I love you really, little one.